Below are the 11 most recent journal entries recorded in suryapoo's LiveJournal:

Sunday, March 6th, 2005
8:59 am	yo yo yo....this weekend was pretty fun..Friday i went to george rosenthals house with some people and we got very happy again..heh heh...(Andrea you know what I mean) anyhoo so that was pretty fun. then Saturday night I went to berkely with Andrea and her friend Bryan and we went to Sofias house and spent the night. we were gonna go to this show at the gilman but we wouldnt have been able to get home or anythign. I REALLY wanted to go, veronica lipgloss were playing and I REALLY wanted to see them. oh well. today i work 10 to fuckin 6 but I got 40 dollars in tips so it was good. then me and my dad went out to dinner and it was nice. okay so I wanna do something really crazy with my hair! WHAT SHOULD I DO!? leave comments on to what i should do. oh. and guess who i saw on 44 bus while waiting for the drug dealer on 9th and irving? Greg... and guess who was with him. the person who told me the fuckin NIGHT before he "never wanted to see him again and hang out with him because it hurts SOOO MUCH and I wanna get over him blah blah blah" BULL CRAP yes...Kyel...thank you kyel. you made my night really special.. it actualy kinda ruined the night. it sucked...because i didnt even feel anything for more then like 2 hours and fuck... fuck THAT. I dont know what to say to kyel ethier. like should i give him the silent treatment? He knows i am in love with greg, And that was really shady as a fucking friend. Im just really upset at that whole situation. oh fucking well. Current Mood: groggy (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, March 3rd, 2005
2:58 am	lalalla im hella high im never writing in this i dont think. people dont even read it..and im too lazy to write in it anyway. so if you want surya to update ssay YES. but if you dont really give a flying fuck say no. Current Mood: calm (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, February 21st, 2005
2:47 pm	be my boy be my boy be my boy be my boy be my boy be my boy be my boy be my boy Ive been thinkin about those thing you said Ive been thinkin about those things we did ive been thinkin about those things you do ive been thinkin about those things you made me do to be my boy be my boy be my boy bee my boy i was hypnotized by your fairy eyes like a tiger in the dark you were hungry for my starve be my boy be my boy be my boy be my boy diamonds candy pills 1 million dollar bills you can try but cant buy me buy me diamonds candy pills 1 million dollar bills you can try but cant buy me buy me you can slide slide slippity slide hip hop and dont stop I'll never be on my knees you can slide slide slippity slide hip hop and dont stop I'll never be on my knees when i saw you on the street i just had to look away you were so sweet sexy is laid back relax street boy please wait a second it's gonna take a while slide slide slippity slide hip hop and dont stop I'll never be on my knees you can slide slide slippity slide hip hop and dont stop I'll never be on my knees ive been thinkin about why you act so proud ive been thinkin about whats this shit about am I losing control am I losing my soul? just tell me am I losing you? be my boy be my boy be my boy be my boy be my boy be my boy be my boy be my boy -"I've been Thinking" Handsome Boy modeling school featuring Cat Power this song is so pretty. Current Mood: lonely Current Music: "ive been thinkin about" Handsome boy modeling school (Comment on this)
12:54 pm	im sad. im starting to like this guy. because of the musical we're back stage for like 5 hours a day we all get very randy and have to find the best guy to make out with....no joke man. but im starting to like the most innocent, good boy ever. he doesnt drink, he says it TASTES bad., and he's russian, he doesnt smoke, he's probably never kissed a girl. I want to devirginize him. i want to make him lose all of his innocence to me. i like the "bad boys" but for some reason this guys sweet flirting is what i want right now. hugs instead of slapping your ass, holding you in his arms instead of just wanting to get in your pants is so nice right now. I need that. but. the thing is, even how much he flirts, he of course likes the PERFECT, prettiest girl, Angela, shes so damn perfect. and I hate to say it, but i envy her so much. shes beautiful, great voice, EVERYONE is in love with her. and damn. shes got this boy i like under a spell. it hurts to look over at him and he's got his arms sprawled over her. also, this other boy i like. I fucking hate him, but i love him. I hear he "likes me" people say whenever they hang out with him he always asks where i am or what im up to....but he's a freshman so I dunno if he even knows what to do with his dick. (oh...sorry for that crass statement...) anyhoo. but one of my best friends likes him too. we're trying to stop. he's like a drug, we cant get enough of him but we know he's bad for us. i like him so much though. but like he only talks to me online, he's always first to im me, but then at school when people are around he sorta ignores me, he says hey...he's shy around me. i think he just doesnt like me at ALL, or he's shy around girls he likes...(remember he is a freshman) i want him so bad. :( but even if i had the chance with him, i couldnt have him. and Its not like i would ever have a chance with him anyway. so fuck. im in another damn PICKLE. fuckin a...... i need help. serious help. i just want to have someone to hold me in their arms. and feel like the princess for the first time in my life. Im looking forward to that moment, but I think it may take a while. Current Mood: crushed (1 Comment |Comment on this)
12:26 pm	what a gloomy morning. my dad just told me our family friend Brenda's cousin, uncle AND nephew all did in TWO days, all caused by car crashes. at different times. today's my dads girlfriends birthday, she turns 25. we're going out to dinner, brenda was supposed to go but she had to fly out to west virginia yesterday, life is so depressing. so. the show is going well. Thursday night, I couldnt stop crying backstage. I didnt even really have a reason, i was just feeling so crappy, like nothing could ever go well for me ever again. Friday Joel and Matt were SUPPOSED to go. SUPPOSED to, yes. but of course they never showed up. I shouldnt of even expected them to. matt, I would of thought better of him. it makes me so upset, the person I care about most in the world thinks im the shit under his shoe. im not even worth his time. anyway before i start crying even more. Saturday night after the show me, Fiona and Nick all went to Rogues house in fuckin hunters point. she was having this really interesting party though. her moms band was playing and a bunch of other bands. it was sick, we got to go backstage. it was really intense. especially because we were very stoned. so then yesterday (Sunday) after our matinee show we had this cast party at Cybelles, it was fun. almost most of the cast played spin the bottle. it was fun. I kissed miles. haha, and victor was the first person i got to kiss...woo...hoo....hahaha. then after stuffing our mouths with never ending pizza, me miles, roshann and grace went to Karen and Victors friends house. russian party all the way baby! David, Johnny, Eldon and Adam wre there. there was this guy Lobster, who was really hot, he drove us all home. he goes to urban, he seemed hella cool. grace miles and roshann all spent the night. and now im having this nice relaxing day.....pff....im angry at the world. why did you fuck me over so harshly? Current Mood: annoyed Current Music: Cake- Never There (Comment on this)
Sunday, February 13th, 2005
9:04 am	fun fun fun oh man i had the most exhilarating night last night. it was sooooooo fun! I cant say much about it. but it was just like the best experience of my life. i was with people i loved and people that loved me. me kyel andrea nick aidan fiona sloane devin max and this guy william....such great people! much loveee! I feel so fresh and like new! like a new born baby!! i loveee everyoneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee Current Mood: rejuvenated (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Saturday, February 12th, 2005
11:24 am	I feel realy really stressed out right now. to the extreme. Everything you could think that would make you stressed out is happening. Parents, losing stuff, people being assholes, everything. Im soo angry at the world right now. i cant deal with this all anymore. i cant. last night was fun and really bad at the same time. i cant help just cry and cry and cry. and I wish I could do that all day. i wish i could get away from everyone and everything. i wanna be in my own little room with everything I love. nothing that'll make me feel stressed and horrible about myself. just everything i love. my diary, my music and probably lip chap. no drugs no alcohol. I think im gonna quit for a while, maybe thats whats making me stressed out. but i dunno Im going to quit for maybe a month. i hope i dont break that vow....god i need help. I need serious help. i used to go to a therapist for 2 years but it didnt help AT ALL. but i think it might now....im older and more mature and I actually want to talk to somebody and get some help. Current Mood: stressed Current Music: weezer- Say it Aint So (Comment on this)
Thursday, February 10th, 2005
10:05 am	heyy all im at my moms house of course shes not here. i dont even know where the hell she is...it really scares me. It seems as if I am the mother and shes the daughter. Im always worried about her. It really sucks.....I never get to see her so tuesday after rehearsal me kyel miriam kelly emiko and greg all hung out we got reallllly drunk. then after hanging out for a while we went to Gregs and we spent the night at his house. dude my dad found out about my party! it REALLY sucks. I also got my fuckin ipod stolen from Victors stupid russian friends...shady bastards....I asked Victor if he knew anything about it, but of course he wouldnt say anything and he's not very smart anyway...Im so pissed. just MORE shit for me to think and worry about. why is life so fuckin complicated? uughhhhhhh!! im so tired of this bullshit. Current Mood: aggravated (Comment on this)
Sunday, February 6th, 2005
8:41 am	oh mannn what a weekend so friday hella fun bonfire...hella people were there. JORDAN (new hot techie) was there with bryce and david and that crew. he's reallly fuckin hot. anyway so after the bonfire me, kyel and michelle (bierer) went back to kyels house and smoked a honey joint and just hung out nshit it was really fun.. then saturday we all met up with Greg and went to his friends house and kyel greg and his friend had a jam session. they sounded pretty cool, then me and kyel went to meet up with julie and zoe, julie went to go get some weed and me kyel and zoe went to my house to get ready for *drum roll* Andrea's 16th birthday party at my house!!! quite a few people came, it was pretty sick. VICTOR came with his weird ass russian friends (hella scary man) haha but yeah then after the party (it ended pretty early like 12ish?) me cappi and peter went back to this guy Will's house, it was chill...we just talked and hung out nshit. didnt do much, then i went home. today I worked 10-5 it was good to finally work and get some mooolaa! I havent worked in hella long, I missed everyone!! i finally got to see joel, i fucking hate being in love with him, he's 22...i know he would love me, but he knows its illegal and he's a goddamn good guy so he wouldnt do that. why does he have to be so fucking wonderful? I try and hate him and the fact that I can never have him, but its just so hard. its so fucking hard. Current Mood: drained Current Music: the humming of my computer (does that count?) (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, February 3rd, 2005
9:59 am	hmm..im bad at posting... today was really tiring. rehearsal was at fuckin 6! which really sucked! me and sergey went to go get pizza from my work...that was weird cause me and sergey never talk or anything.. tomorrows about to be hella fun. i'll write about it another time when im sitting on my ass again doing absolutely nothing..or homework. which pretty much means the same thing. ahh so tiredddd..... uugh im so lonely! i need a man so bad! hahaaha your homeboys tried to warn me but your butt makes me me so horny! Current Mood: horny (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, February 1st, 2005
7:29 pm	hey this is my first entry! i had stupid rehearsal today. they really suck and take up SO much of my time, i cant work for a MONTH! no work = no money! i've been in a really weird mood lately......like all this shit has been coming down on me, me and andrea and paulette were playing this weird game that like said all these things that were gonna happen in the future or some shit, sorta like tarot cards, but a game. mine said that like all this shit was gonna happen first then it'll all turn out good....it didnt exactly say that but in that sense.. I had a REALLY good weekend, it was jam packed with fun..haha friday helllllla people came to my house, and we smoked hella weed and chilled nshit. then me paulette andrea miriam and kyel all went to see gravy train! it was SUCH a good concert. and we were all drunk so it was really fun. then saturday me andrea and andreas friend sofia went to the hookah bar on fillmore with george and brendan. then we were gonna go to see the fullmoon partisans and the bananas with a few other bands...but it was sold out when we got there so we just hung out..it was fun..I havent hung out with andrea in hella long so i missed her alot. so it was nice to see her. sunday was lame cause i had to get up at 7ish...(And i went to bed at like 5 in the morning) and go to tech to build the rest of the damn settings for jekylle... soo tiredd -surya Current Mood: tired Current Music: bright eyes- Lover I dont have to love (3 Comments |Comment on this)